[April Fools] Merchandising! Where the Real Money Comes From

We would like to make an urgent project announcement. Some of you may have noticed that things have been a bit quiet over the last few weeks. Well, we’ve been secretly working on an exciting new model for X-Plane, the likes of which have never been seen before. This model will bring an unprecedented level of detail to the sim, and is a perfect way to kick off our new XP Jets “Home Essentials” collection of products.

Thus, without further ado, we’d like to announce our latest project:

…XP Jets: The Toaster.

Featuring true-to-life flight dynamics based on numerous highly sophisticated flight tests of several real toasters (including, naturally, the industry-standard 3rd floor apartment window power-off glide), The Toaster has been carefully tuned to provide unparalleled flight characteristics at altitudes up to FL280, while still perfectly browning not one, but two delicious pieces of thick, hearty bread. Never before have elements of a healthy breakfast and flight simulation enjoyed this level of synergy. Of course, we here at XPJ are extremely environment-conscious, and as such would also like to stress that this is the most carbon footprint-friendly flying toaster you will find anywhere, bar none. Revolutionary breakthroughs in Cold Fusion allow The Toaster to generate previously unheard of levels of power, allowing it to reach a comfortable cruise speed of 320 kts at altitude. Furthermore, the power output guarantees that all toasting functions, including the special “Charred Bagel” function, work perfectly, even at The Toaster’s published service ceiling.

While we had hoped to have a downloadable beta of The Toaster ready for release by today, we regret to inform you that component delivery delays have prevented us from reaching our goal (Seriously, how hard can it be to get foodservice-grade stainless steel on 8 hours notice?). Stay tuned, however, for a release in the not-too-distant future!

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